Weeks 17 - 20: Excuses & Results

Whoa...

What a crazy few weeks this has been!

My internet was out, work has been on me like I tried to escape the plantation, my social life has been popping off (although, not necessarily in the way that I would prefer), and my kids are freaking busy.  Sometimes I think they need their own personal assistants.

All this, and I am still maintaining my 14 lb weight loss.  Sorry boys, I have not hit that 15 lb threshold where I post before and after pictures of myself.  However, tomorrow makes 21 weeks.  I will get on the scale tomorrow morning, and let you know.

I decided to add a little extra ooomph to this project, and I have made the time to add my bootcamp classes back to the mix.  It is going to take a bit of sacrifice on my end--making lunches and getting clothes ready for work and school the night before, and losing an hour three days a week of that "me time" that I enjoy so much before getting my days started--but, in the long-run I feel that it will be worth it.

I've been getting out a little more, and not being such a shut in. The love-life is apparently an epic fail, but I feel that at least I will have good stories to share with all of you guys.  This has inspired me to reopen my old blog, "Adventures of a Whirlygirl," http://chocolatewonderwoman.blogspot.com/  so that I can purge myself of all of the crazy anecdotal thoughts that I have, unrelated to my weightloss.  Plus, I feel like I am getting some of my swag back, and I was honestly not worthy of writing that blog unless I had a little bit of swagger.  Try it, friends, you'll like it.

I will hop on the scale tomorrow for Week 21.  We'll see if those before/after pics finally get posted...

Technical Difficulty

So...I am typing this on my iPhone. It seems that AT&T thinks that I may need to break down a wall to fix the phone line for my DSL service...since I am not going to have that done, it may be a while longer before I have service. Lucky for you guys, I am still plateauing, so no real news there. Hope to be back online soon!!

Week 16: Excuses & Results

Here I go again, late with the post.

I will cut to the chase--there will be no before and after pictures, because I am holding at 14 lbs lost and 16 to go.  I am OK with this.  By the way things are looking, when I weigh in this Wednesday, I will have to pull the camera out.  Although I am the same weight, my shape is changing, and that makes me happy.  I am regaining that "fit hour-glass" shape that I like to have.  I want to be sporty, but I want my curves, too.

I am going to attend 3 bootcamp classes this week given by my old trainer, since my son is out of school, and I don't have to take him to class in the next town every morning.  I was thinking about it, and with a little preparation at night, I can probably go to her again regularly.  It will just require having clothes and lunches ready at night.  Also, as things slow down at work during the holidays, I will be able to start going back to the gym at lunch to take the yoga and pilates classes that I love so much.  Walking/jogging on the treadmill is getting kinda old.

I have to keep it real...I have been getting out quite a bit lately.  I have become closer to a girlfriend at work, and in the past week and a half, I have been to a wedding, a happy hour, and out on the town at least 3 or 4 times.  It's been fun, but I know that if i wasn't having social drinks, that I would have probably broken my 15 lb threshold by now.  There is some good that has come out of all of the socializing, though...

I met a boy ( a MAN!) at the wedding reception, and a group of us are going to Vegas in January to celebrate his birthday.  We are "friends" for now, but have both agreed to take things slowly and see where they lead us.  I'm giving myself a pat on the back for letting go of all that was bad in my life, because it has affected my attitude, and I am feeling like the old Tracy again, AND I am attracting new friends, male and female.

I learning to be better to myself.  Good things come back to you when you do.

I have a feeling that the balance of Week 17 will be good (1 day!).

Week 15: Excuses & Results

Yes, I realize that I am finally getting around to posting this the day before I am to post my Week 16 Excuses and Results.  I still thought that Week 15 was worthy of mentioning.  I've been really busy--"good" busy.

In short, for my Week 15 weigh-in, I actually lost those three pounds back that I gained the week before.  I guess, much thanks to no eating what felt like a 3-lb steak the night before weigh in!  So, I am back down to 155 lbs, 14 lbs lost, 16 lbs from my goal, and 1 crazy lb away from my promise of posting icky before and after photos.  I am not excited about posting the before and after pics, however, I am really happy about my weight-loss, although I have now dipped under my 1 lb per week average that I was wanting to stick to in order of beating or bettering my goal of 30 lbs lost by 7-26-2012.

My friends, I have really been enjoying my life the past couple of days.  This blog should have probably been more about surviving a bad break-up versus losing 30 lbs.  I have been learning to love myself again, and the weight-loss seems almost coincidental.  In fact, my focus seems like it has been more about learning to love myself again.  It's amazing what can happen to a person's spirit when you give someone all of you, and that person isn't capable of caring for you as they should.  All they do is take from you, and make you feel as if you are not worthy of receiving anything in return.

Still, I don't think that the whole experience affected me for the worse when it comes to future relationships.  All of this time alone has allowed me to place my focus where it hasn't been for the longest time--on me.  It is causing me to be better to myself, to my kids, to be a better friend.  Most of all, it has given me HOPE, a feeling that I haven't had for the longest time, because I was involved with someone else in a very hopeLESS situation.   With hope comes optimism and happiness, and I believe that all leads to new and exciting open doors.

Week 14: Excuses & Results

I have to apologize once again for being late with my posts.  It was a crazy week for work and for my soccermomming endeavors.  I've also been fancying myself a little bit of a social butterfly, which could totally explain for this week's results...

EEK!  I am UP 3 LBS!!  That leaves me down 11 lbs this week, at 158 lbs,19 lbs away from my goal of 139 lbs.

Let me keep it real...

I had two work-related happy hours this week, and a fabulously large steak dinner Tuesday night (the night before weigh-in).  I am a Florida girl, but I have been in Texas long enough not to pass up a free, fabulous, succulent ribeye dinner when it is offered to me.

...as well as a margarita or two...

I feel that I have already achieved one of the goals that I set out to conquer at the beginning of this whole journey.  I've never been one to have a super large circle of friends, but I think that the quality of the few close friends that I have is such that I don't need a large circle.  Anyways, I have some new acquaintances as well as a few people who I have known for a while that I have gotten closer to, who live good, clean lifestyles, are supportive of what it is that I am trying to do here and with other parts of my life, and are people that I want to learn from and support.  I feel really blessed.  I have laughed and cried and shared intimate details of my life with these special few people, and have done so without the fear of being judged.  Although I am up 3 lbs (my first increase during this entire 14 weeks), I feel so much happier and enriched, and I have all of my supportive friends, new and not-so-new, to thank for that.

This whole thing has given me back some confidence that somehow evaporated along the way.  Now that my head is getting straight, I realize that the only person keeping me from these goals or any other goals that I have is me.  Regretfully, I am learning this at 39 years of age, but better to learn it now than at 59 or 79, right?

Here's to looking forward to Week 15, and no steak dinners the night before weigh-in.

Week 13: Excuses & Results

I had a week that was good for my soul.

I think my forward results will be reflective of this.

My weight stayed flat this week--I am still down 14 lbs, with 16 more to go. 

I'm sure worked out this week, but I didn't track it.  It was one of those weeks where I just went with the flow.  Although I was really busy, I was happy, and didn't really stress or obsess over much.  Maybe next week will be another story, but for now I feel good.

Week 12: Excuses & Results

Excuses?  No one thing that I can put my finger on this week...

I exercised 3 times this week:

(3) Walk/Runs for a total of 7.8 miles and 120 minutes (2 hours)

Results: I lost 2 lbs this week, down 14 lbs in 12 weeks. I am currently 155 lbs, and have 16 to go.

I'm excited, and getting dangerously close to having to post the half-way point before and after pictures I promised that I would do once I hit 15 lbs off. 
 
Portion control has been my friend.  I've found that I can still enjoy eating everything I love.  Since this whole thing started, I have been simply moving more, eating better, and eating smaller portions than what I have been used to.  I really think that has been the difference maker, maybe almost as much as the bike that I miss.  :)
 
I have a picture of Salma Hayek on my refrigerator for inspiration. 

 

 

 

That chick is gorgeous and older than me, and has a banging body.  I think in my non-fat state, we have a similar physique.  She is on the fridge for inspiration--reminding me to grab a bottle of water versus a beer, or a container of yogurt instead of ice cream.  I saw a picture of myself this week from early last year that actually gave me the same kind of inspiration, because I was so fit at the time...
 
 

I love my arms here!  It's cool to see a picture of myself and think that this whole being fit thing can't be all that hard, because I was there before!  I had been entertaining replacing the photo of Salma on my fridge with someone else, just because she has been up there so long.  I might just replace her with me!

I'm looking forward to Week 13.  My focus has been and will continue to be to make good, solid choices in everything I do.

 



The Slacker Takes a Break

I am a slacker.

I can’t even blog on time, and this is actually something that I enjoy because it gives me peace.

Last week’s results, etc? My weight stayed flat, and I exercised a couple of times…in a nutshell.


I get so frustrated with myself sometimes. I wish I had more discipline. I get so preoccupied/busy/obsessive/crazed with/by my personal life, that it is hard for me to stay on task the way that I really want to. I remember going to a golf tournament once, and being about arms length away from Tiger Woods when he was walking between holes. The concentration and focus on this dude’s face was insane. It was almost as if none of the applauding fans were there, like he was by himself on a deep, contemplative walk. Man, I want that kind of single-minded focus on this fitness thing. Personal life ADD is really kicking my ass.

…maybe there’s a book on “Focusing for Dummies” on itunes that I can download. I need HELP!

It’s been really tough since the bike broke. I was trying to wait until I hit 20 lbs off to buy a new one, but I think that I need to bite the bullet and do it now before it gets too cold for me to ride outside. I suppose that gives me the opportunity to reward myself with something else when I hit 20, right?

I do need to give myself some credit--all this time that I have been slacking, at least the better eating habits have been staying with me.  I try not to put too much pressure on myself to get this weight lost, but dude, 3 months have already gone by, meaning that I have 9 months to lose all the weight I need to lose.  Before too long, the months and days are going to feel like they are just flying by...OH, and the holidays are coming!

I'll get there.  If I don't have faith in anything else, I know that at least I will make THIS goal.  I've got to.

Week 10: Excuses & Results

Excuses:  Life!

I exercised 3 times this week:
(2) Walk/Runs for a total of 5.26 miles and 80 minutes
(1) 15 minute self-propelled stress-relieving yoga session

Results: I lost 1 lb this week, down 12 lbs in 10 weeks. I am currently 157 lbs, and have 18 to go.

The weight is slowly coming off, but at least it's not coming back.

I'm going to get off of the subject of fitness for this post, I think...freestylin'...bear with me.

Work has been nuts...lots of movement and restructuring.  I had a manager one day, and came into work the next to find out that I am now reporting to someone new, and my manager and half of my current team are all in another division.  I am an advocate for change, and feel that much good could come out of the changes that are going on with my job, but surprisingly, it's taken me a minute to wrap my mind around this one.  In this environment, I am ecstatic to have a job, and positive that this means good things in the future, so I am trying not to stress too much over this one.

My daughter was riding around on a scooter last week, and fell and sprained her arm.  I have never had a broken arm or a sprain--how long does it take for a sprain to heal?  She's still in a bunch of pain, but at least it isn't a break.  When I found out that she fell and hurt her arm, I was imagining that she was going to end up in a cast all the way up her arm, like what her brother had two years ago after an accident at football practice.  I am thankful that she is okay.

I had the sweetest conversation with my son today.  He is 11 days from turning 14 years old, and as you know, having a teenager in the house is not exactly synonymous with "fun."  Somehow we got on the subject of girls, and he let me inside enough to know that there is a girl that he likes, and he would "ask her out" if he knew for sure that she liked him "in that way."  I gave him my advice (I'll let you guys guess what I said), and he thanked me and said that it was cool that he could talk to his mom about such things.  After months of fighting with this kid, this was major for me, and so profound.  This guy who I love more than any other guy may have feelings "in that way" for the first time for a girl, and it was sweet.  AND he shared it with me.

That's the end of tonight's freestyle blogging session.  What's the plan for Week 11?  I'm going to not sweat so many things, and I will just live.

...and now for this Week's Inspirational Video...two

It's been a minute since I posted  a video.  I like to get a little old school, too.  My 10 year old daughter was singing this song to herself the other day, which is funny for many reasons, but especially because it came out 2 years before she was born.

It inspires and motivates me.  Look at the abs on these girls, and who can deny the message? 

Happy Friday.

Week 9 Excuses & Results

Hey guys, I don't have much to write this time around.  It's been a trying week personally and professionally, and I just have a lot on my mind, but I wanted to post results.  I worked out twice this week, and maintained...no lbs lost, no lbs gained.  I am holding at 158.

I'm sure that I will have things to add before my week 10 wrap-up. 

Hope that everyone has a good week.

Week 8: Excuses & Results

Sorry this is so late.  Time really got away from me this week!  However, I did manage to remember to exercise and weigh in last week.

Excuses:

• My bike broke. :(  That didn't keep me from working out, although it made me very sad.

I moved a lot this week:

• (5) Walk/Runs, mostly walking for a total of 9.42 miles and 159 minutes (2:39)
• (1) Hour-long Yoga class

Results: I lost 1 lb this week, down 11 lbs in 8 weeks. I am currently 158 lbs, and have 19 to go.

So, I am really irritated that the tire on my bike won't act right.  My gift to myself for 20 lbs lost is a new bike, but I feel like it will take me longer to get there without my being able to do the exercise that I have been enjoying the most!  Maybe it will be more motivation for me to get to 20 lbs off faster, so that I can start riding again.

In the meantime, I need to refocus on the free or cheap resources already available to me.  I have new running shoes, check.  I have a cheap gym membership at work, check.  I have rollerblades that I am still afraid of, check.  I have two very active kids, check, check.  I have to hustle these resources until I can't do it anymore.

Without giving too much away right now, I feel that there are other changes afoot in my life (good ones, maybe?), so any consistency and regularity that I can create where my fitness is concerned will be beneficial should any good, major change occur.  More in a future blog post on that.

I saw the picture that I took of myself the day that I started this project.  I was surprised at just how much difference 11 lbs lost makes.  My intention originally was to post the picture in my first blog post, but honestly, I was/am too embarrassed by what I saw.  I am promising myself and both of my readers that when I meet the critical midway point of 15 lbs lost, that I will post my before and after photo here for all to see.  I think I have plenty of time between now and then to talk myself into thinking that this is a good idea!

My plans for Week 9?  Keep up the slow and steady weight-loss pace.  I am telling myself that this is how to do it if I really want the weight to stay off.  It might now be peeling off as quickly as I would like, but I only have 19 more pounds to lose in just over 10 months.  This should be gravy, right?  Not very thick, low fat gravy, of course...

Here we go, Week 9!

She's Flashy

I picked up my new shoes yesterday.

I found the same (read: "older") version of the Saucony ProGrid Ride shoes that I loved and ran all of my 5Ks in back in the day.  They are just like this:

Flashy, I know.
Hopefully they make me run fast.

Week 7: Excuses & Results

Excuses....just one:  SICK!

Results: I lost 2 lbs this week, a total of 10 lbs in 7 weeks. I am now 159 lbs, and have 20 to go.  I have reached my first benchmark goal of 10 lbs lost, which means that I get my new running shoes!  I'm undecided...I've had the older versions of each of these shoes before, and they are both great.





Saucony Progrid 3



Brooks Ghost 4

                  ...or...

 

 



 

 

 



I managed to work out once this week:

• (1) 20 minute bike ride, 3.8 miles.



So, yes, I was horribly sick this week.  My mom was in town, too.  I was happy that she was here, because I feel like I would probably still be vomiting my life away if she wasn't here, but sad, too, because it obviously wasn't my intention for her to be here only to be stuck in the house for a few days because I was too sick to get off of my couch.  Mom and I had a great visit, and I hope she comes again soon when I have more vacation time, and when I am not hugging, sitting on, or lying by the toilet for a 72-hour period of time.



I'm feeling a little guilty about my results, like I need to put an asterisk by them.  I know that my weight-loss was 100% due to the fact that I only recently started eating solid foods again.  However, I am at 10 lbs lost, and will purchase the much-needed new shoes, so that I can get my running jumpstarted again.



We are having a community yard sale this weekend, and I am hoping that I can sell enough items that I can fund my new shoes from my yard sale proceeds.

 

There's one other fun thing coming up this weekend...I signed myself up for a yoga class and oxygen bar that is happening at a winery nearby.  Oh yes, it's a wine tasting, too.  I hope to start finding more off-the-beaten path, fun ways to get to my destination of 30 lbs lost by the end of next July.

 

My hopes for Week 8?  No illness...and I'd just like to get back into a groove or on some type of schedule.

 

Here we go!









Week 6: Excuses & Results

...sorry this is a little late this week, guys!

Oh Lord…

Excuses:

• There was a 3-day holiday weekend. Without kids. With booze. Good eatin’, too. And boys. All distractions.

• Work has been hella crazy.

• Crazy dreams, making it not so easy to get sleep.

I worked out just twice this week:

• (1) 45-minute walk/run on the treadmill for 3.15 miles.

• (1) bike ride, for a total of 26 minutes and 4.8 miles


Results: I lost 0 lbs this week, holding at 8 lbs lost in 6 weeks. I am holding at 161 lbs, and still have 22 to go. This is my second 0 weight-loss week in a row.

I need to snap out of it.

If you are still following this blog, you probably already read me lamenting the temptations of the three-day-weekend. I promise, will not go over that again.

Work has been pretty crazy this week. I’ve been bringing my laptop home, like everyday, which is highly unusual for me. I am good at what I do, and want to do a good job, but I do believe that I should be able to accomplish most of what I came to do in between my normal hours of 8 am to 5:30-ish pm, and that my evenings and nights should be dedicated my kids and their many endeavors, as well as to my fitness and physical and mental well-being.

Things just haven’t worked out that way. I’ve been working through lunches, causing me to miss yoga. I’ve also been up late at night on the laptop, causing me to have issues with getting up early enough in the morning to ride my bike before work.

My crazy brain needs to stop with all of the nutso dreams that have been keeping me awake at night. I have been a bride in no less than two dreams—one where I didn’t know who my groom was, and another where I was scrambling 2 hours before the big event, looking for a wedding gown. And then there is the crazy dream I had with the stalker…

Before I forget, I need to shout out to the awesome encouragement that I got from a special friend this week.  I didn't even know that this person was in the same boat as me.  I love to hear your stories, it makes me feel like I am not in this by myself.  Thanks so much for the encouragement:

the battle is always with willpower.


my flip switched 2 fridays ago - i was home at my parents and it was just a side glance in the mirror as i was about to jump in the shower.

i've been over indulging on mcdonalds, wendy's, cookies, and the occasional ice cream for the past year. - i saw a pic of myself just a year ago and i'm completely different - so i think it's been the overworking and undersleeping that switched me to the dark side of fast food eating. I think i'm still gonna binge on some cookies once a week but otherwise i think i've locked it down mentally. Of course i think i have a smaller social life then you - my drinking usually consists of a glass of wine or 3 to help me get to sleep.


remind yourself that this is forever -this is quality of life - and that this is for you AND your kids :)


My gameplan for Week 7?

1. Minimize the excuses. I put them here at the beginning of my Results blogs, so that I have a record of what I whined about (silently in my head) the previous week, so that I can try to avoid the same excuses next week..
2. Get back to basics. Back in my first post, I made promises to myself about what I would like to achieve each week in terms of fitness, diet, and the types of people that I want to associate with (like-minded, healthy individuals). Unfortunately, it’s gotten easy to lose focus in the midst of being busy… i.e., stopping at McDonald’s on the way to/from my daughter’s soccer practice, because everyone is hungry, and that is all we have time for. I think with better pre-planning, I can come up with some crockpot meals that we can eat as soon as I get home from work, and before soccer practice.
3. Remember why I am doing this.  My friend said it best:  this is about elevating my quality of life.

Did I happen to mention that my mom is here visiting for a week?

Week 7? I WILL lose at least one pound this week. I promise.

The Weekend

I had Labor Day weekend all to myself, with little interaction with other human beings.  The kids were at their dad's house, and since we all know that C. is out of my life, I didn't have him as a reason to throw my entire weekend away on someone.

I think that a two day weekend is perfect for staying on the wagon--just as I am beginning to think of straying from my plan, it's time for the work week to get started again, meaning that I have to get back on schedule.  Three day weekends can be disaster, I have learned.  I have too much free time, and not enough willpower to fill 72 hours with non-stop running, biking, etc.  Lying around watching movies, or going out to eat and drink is just way too much fun.

Any pointers that anyone can give me as to how to fill my idle time will be much appreciated.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, this is the reason why I gave myself a year to lose 30 lbs.  I knew that I had to be real and know that I was going to hit rough patches, but man, I gotta get out of this one.

Can anyone tell it's been a "glass half empty" kinda weekend?

Still, I will keep pressing on. 

I naively thought at the beginning of this endeavor that this was a simple battle against the scale.  I am quickly learning that the battle is against myself.  How do I win?

...and now for this Week's Inspirational Video...

Nuff said...

Week 5: Excuses & Results

Where do I even start with the excuses?


Excuses:

• 107 degrees is a bitch, whether you are in the shade or not. It is a B-I-T-C-H.

• My body is trying to adjust to its new schedule.

• My head and heart just weren’t into it this week.

• I’ve been quite the social butterfly.

I worked out 3 times this week:

• (1) 45-minute walk on the treadmill for 2.63 miles

• (2) bike rides, for a total of 26 minutes and 6.4 miles

Results: I lost 0 lbs this week, holding at 8 lbs lost in 5 weeks. I am holding at 161 lbs, and still have 22 to go.

When I started this project with my guns a blazin’, everyone told me, “Oh, you’re doing so well, you don’t need a full year to lose 30 lbs.” I knew better. I knew that I was going to have some off weeks, and this was one of them. I’m just happy that I maintained versus gaining weight.

What can I say...I was lazy, I went out a few times, and man, I just needed a break.

This week marked a month that I’ve been on this project. This means that if I average 2 lbs lost for each of the remaining months, I will still hit my goal. I REALLY want my new pair of running shoes, too, so I will do whatever in my power to work the next 2 lbs off, so that I can reach my 10 lbs off benchmark and get my shoes. I’ve been waiting on the new shoes so that I can get started running again.

The gym at work just put out its new class schedule for September, and I am pumped that they have added a few new classes and made a few others easier (because of scheduling) for me to get to. I think I am going to try a spin class for the third time in my life, too.

My social life is heating up. I’ve been rekindling friendships and meeting new people in the wake of my separating myself from C. I am hoping that I have some potential partners in crime for races, classes, or other fitness endeavors.

On with Week 6…May Week 5 be the last 0 lbs lost week for a while.

Week 4: Results & Excuses

Oh boy. So much for not having any excuses…


Excuses:

• Relationships are distracting and exhausting at times—not even just romantic ones or ones with the  opposite sex.

• While throwing up may help you lose weight, it’s really dehydrating and leaves you with zero energy.

• Being festive is apparently counterintuitive to fitness and weight-loss


I worked out 4 times this week:

• (1) 1-hour yoga class

• (4) bike rides, for a total of 79 minutes and 14.7 miles


Results: I lost 1 lb this week, making it a grand total of 8 lbs in 4 weeks. I now weigh 161 lbs, and have 22 to go!

I am gaining some traction on this whole weight-loss thing. I received all kinds of encouragement from people this week. One co-worker noticed that I was still sitting at my desk as our yoga class was about to start. She said, “Come on, let’s go! We’ve still got time to make it!” and I went. I probably wouldn’t have if she didn’t say anything to me. I made it in time to get the last available spot in the class, and felt so refreshed and thankful when we were done. Namaste, indeed. Sometimes I need that little extra kick in the butt to get moving.

2 people I hadn’t seen in a while mentioned that I looked really good, and another co-worker said that she noticed that I was losing weight. It’s really motivating to hear that people are noticing what I think I’m the only one who can see. It makes me want to kick it up another couple of notches.

Either the weight-loss or my parting of ways with C. (or both) is affecting my total “energy.” I walked into work one day this week with my hands full—workout bag on one arm, handbag on the other arm, keys in one hand, and building access badge in the other hand. A guy came up from behind to open the door for me to get into the building. I said, “Thanks,” and when I smiled and made eye contact with him, he smiled back, seemed to notice my running shoes hanging out of my workout bag, and proceeded to make small talk with me until I had to turn off to get to my desk. I have always thought that people where I work are not excessively friendly, much less do they want to hold doors or engage in conversation with strangers as they are racing to their desks first thing in the morning. This made me think that maybe it isn’t the people, but perhaps it is me and the energy that I have been putting into the universe lately. I feel as if I can see the gray clouds beginning to break.

I had a few minor set backs this week. I thought I would cozy up with some Chinese food and some chick flicks on Saturday night. Well, the Chinese food did not agree to stay in my stomach, so I had a little bit of a puking episode. This left me weak and tired and dehydrated, but somehow I still felt like waking up Sunday morning for a bike ride.

My daughter’s 10th birthday was this weekend, and there was Chili’s (one of her favorite places) and cake involved. I did OK with dinner—grilled chicken with black beans, but did I mention that there was cake? There’s no denying the chocolate molten lava cake, there’s just more and harder exercise on the other side of eating the chocolate molten lava cake.

My homies have kept me really busy this week, too. It just seemed like there were a lot of dramatic happenings this week. Towards the end of it, when craziness presented itself, I had to just say, “Whatever,” and I kept it moving. I can’t have drama interfering with my goals, right?

This week has been about structure, and my coming weeks will be the same. The kids got back to school and sports practices, and this greatly limits the time that I am able to get my workouts. My plan is to continue to use the gym at work as much as my work schedule will allow. I will also continue to ride the bike, just because I enjoy it so much. Hopefully I can get up a few minutes earlier each morning, so that I can go a little further. I’ve still been a little scared to get out on my rollerblades, but I will challenge myself to try them out this week. I am really excited about being on the verge of hitting the 10 lbs lost mark—I will reward myself with some much-needed new running shoes, and will feel better about starting back to running, the real fat burner.

All in all, it was a good week, but I think that Week 5 will be even better.

Thoughts from the Treadmill 3: I'm a Little Bit Country

Happy Friday!

I wanted to post one of my favorite songs right now, something that is frequently played on my iphone during some of these workouts.  Wonder why I love this so much.

Thoughts from the Treadmill 2: I Lost 190 lbs!!

In case you all didn't believe that I would drop that dead weight, here is a letter that I would send if the "High Road" side of my personality didn't prevail:

My Dearest C.,

You know that I wish the best for you in the future.  I hope that you go to India and have that $10,000 surgery for your chronic back pain that you've been talking about incessantly for the past year.  I'm pretty sure that the cleanliness standards in the Indian hospitals are up to par with what we are used to here in the States.  I hope that they forget to anesthetize you, and that they not only remove a kidney and throw you on ice in a bathtub, but they take 4 of your vertebrae, too!  Welcome to 5'4", Mofo.  Who's "Large Marge" now?

Best Regards,
Tracy

Week 3: Excuses & Results

This was a fun week.

Excuses:          

• (…chirp, chirp), well, maybe I should have skipped the thin crust veggie pizza and red wine the night before my Wednesday weigh-in…I’m not sure if that is a real “excuse,” versus stating a fact.

I worked out 6 times this week:

• (1) 45 minute bootcamp (cardio, free weights, plyometrics, tabata training, etc., all thanks to my trainer)
• (1) 30 minute session of hard cleaning of my bathroom.  I broke a sweat!  I told you guys that I would count this.
• (1) 2-hour session of off-and-on the rink roller-skating
• (1) 1-hour yoga class
• (1) 20 minute bike-ride for 3.4 miles
• (1) 45 minute walk on the treadmill for 2.6 miles

Results:  I lost 2 lbs this week, making it a grand total of 7 lbs in 3 weeks.  I now weigh 162 lbs, and have 23 to go!

I drank a lot of water…like copious amounts. 

I think I peed about 5 times (no lie!) between 1 and 5 pm yesterday.  I walked out of a meeting at work, not once, but twice, to relieve myself.  Everyone will think that I am going to the bathroom to puke or that I have serious bladder issues. 

I have always been an under-drinker of water, but am quickly learning the importance of it.  I think this has been key to my results, because instead of grabbing a soft drink, I always have a bottle of water in my hand.

I enjoyed the bike-riding and roller-skating this week.  These were both things that I enjoyed doing as a kid, and I actually have no good reason as to why I ever quit. 

My kids bought rollerblades for me 2 years ago as a birthday gift, and I have never worn them (scared!), but after spending an afternoon allowing my inner roller queen to come out, I think that I have mustered the confidence to take the blades out of the box and use them to blade up and down my street sometime this week in one of my 5 am workout sessions.

My 13 year old son fixed the tire on my bike, so I was extremely happy to get that out on the road for a short ride one morning last week.  The downside is that the bike is a little on the cheap side, and is a bit of a rough ride, but I had so much fun on it, I almost didn’t care.  Almost…

As I approach the 10lb milestone, I thought that maybe I should sweeten the pot for myself, by rewarding myself with things, as I am also on a financial diet.  These are my thoughts so far:

10 lbs:  

20 lbs: 

30 lbs:  

I would love to hear other ideas from my two readers, as well.

Week 4 will bring lots of change to my routine.  We get back to school, so my days will begin much earlier because of my having to get my son to his math class at the high school every morning.  Sports practices for the kids are also starting, and will take place a few afternoons per week in addition to their games.  I feel that I have everything timed out to the second, so hopefully my plan to keep this workout pace will prevail.  I still hope to use the free or nearly cheap resources that are already available to me, and then maybe build on that as the pounds continue to melt away.

On to week 4…

Thoughts from the Treadmill 1: Damsel in Distress--Who is this Bitch??

I warned my friends before I started this blog that it might not always be about fitness.  I mean, I do have other things going on in my life, and sometimes they consume me as much as this whole losing weight thing.  These little breaks from the fitness will be called "Thoughts from the Treadmill."  Consider yourself warned.

Mom, you may stop reading now.

I had an epiphany about my lovelife since the divorce.  I wasn't actually on the treadmill when I had this epiphany, but I was thinking about getting on the treadmill while I was scrubbing the toilet in my bathroom, and then I had this epiphany.  I should call this one "Thoughts from the Toilet," but that doesn't sound right.  Although, sometimes when I want to get away from the noise of my house, the quietest place for me to sit and contemplate and philosophize about this life is my toilet.  Alas, I was not sitting on the toilet, but most appropriately scrubbing the shitter while I was thinking about my lovelife. 

Anyways, it just finally dawned on me why every relationship since the divorce 7 years ago has been a failure.  It's because of this bitch...



Damsel in Distress
Where is the train when you need it?

I am not this chick.

That is the problem.

I have learned that most of the men I have encountered have this need to be the savior.  They don't feel like the man unless they are saving the day.  I have nothing...no saving needed, no prison record, drug problem, physical abuse, no major downer about my life.  I need to lose weight, and I would always like to have more money, but there is no real tragedy here.  OK, so my dad is an alcoholic.  It's affected my life, but I take responsibility for all of my decisions made in my adulthood.  So, still, not really tragic.

I am not complaining that I am not this chick, I am complaining that the opposite of this chick isn't necessarily valued in the dating world.  I've been told my entire adult life, "You're such a strong woman," or "You're the strongest woman I know."  Thanks, but strength doesn't get you laid.

You're supposed to laugh at that, but it's the truth!

What woman in history started this?

So, I met the X's girlfriend for the first time recently.  First impressions?  Nice.  Physically small.  Soft spoken.  Fragile.  Before our meeting, he told me a few things about her, which I will not repeat here.  The picture was made complete when I met her face to face, and witnessed him, not her, verbally disciplining her kids, something I have difficulty allowing others to do with our kids.  She is everything I am not.  This is not a bad thing, but it made me wonder:  Is there such a thing as "too strong?"  Did I not need him, or anyone since him, enough?" 

The most recent man in my life, C., has a history of dating the girl that you wouldn't necessarily take home to mother--exotic dancers, women with substance abuse problems, and such.  He's also gone down the path of the the whole mail order bride process.  He's all about having the woman who depends on him to help her get off the pole, help her get off of drugs, straighten out her life, help her to assimilate to the American way of life, and so on.  He's her protector and and her savior.  When we first started dating he used to say, "You don't need me," like it was a bad thing.  I always told him, "Wouldn't you rather me choose to be with you than need to be with you?"  Now I realize that my lack of "neediness" or whatever you want to call it, is the little tumor that was the beginning of the end of the relationship.

Of course there have been other issues throughout the past 7 years worth of relationships that caused their demise.  This just seems to be a common, ongoing theme.

Hmm.

I'm not sure that I came to any life-changing or lovelife-changing decisions while I was Comet-ing, Soft Scrubbing, and Windex-ing the hell out of my bathroom this morning.  I did get a good 30-minute bathroom-cleaning workout (which I will count in my Wednesday results blog), a decent cry, and much low-fat food for thought.

Week 2: Excuses & Results

I guess every week is going to be tough…this weight-loss thing is definitely not easy.

Excuses:          

• That allergy thing that I thought would blow over blew up.  I had some of my worst days this week.  Thankfully, I can say that I feel as if I am finally getting over it.

Yeah!  …only one whiny-assed excuse this week.

I worked out 4 times this week:

• (1) 45 minute bootcamp (cardio, free weights, plyometrics, tabata training, etc., all thanks to my trainer)
• (2) 45 minute walks on the treadmill for 5.25 miles
• (1) 50 minute brisk walk with Bella the Pitbull for 2.6 miles

Results:  I lost 2 lbs this week, making it a grand total of 5 lbs in 2 weeks.  I now weigh 164 lbs, and have 25 to go!

I still believe that I am winning with my food choices.  I am making some really thoughtful, careful moves when it comes to what I am putting in my body, and I know that this is what is making the difference.

I am in love with spinach and chicken breasts, either together or separately.  My new mission is to find new and exciting ways to prepare both dishes so that they never get old.  I’m also remembering my appreciation for other fruits and vegetables—cucumbers, tomatoes, and peaches top my list.

I went out once this week, and even had a “Skinny Margarita” that had only 100 calories in it.  Next time, though, I will probably opt out of booze altogether, since I think either the tequila or the margarita mix made my stomach hurt.

With school about to start, I am being faced with a few new challenges when it comes to fitting in my workouts.  My 8^th grade son is taking a high-school level Geometry class at the high school 12 miles in the opposite direction of work from my home.  This is going to drastically increase my morning commute, meaning that I will need to cut my bootcamps out of my routine.

This has been stressing me out since I found out that the class was not going to be offered at his middle school as I was originally told.  I can still work out in the morning, it’s just got to be a bit earlier than I did for bootcamp.  This change has really made me consider all of the resources I have available to me right now:

1. A really inexpensive gym membership at work.  I like to take advantage of the lunchtime Yoga and Pilates classes that are offered when I have the time—i.e., no meetings over lunch, or killer deadlines to make.  This, too, may come to an end, though, if my new commute gets me here too late in the morning.
2. A bike with a busted tire.  I thought that I might reward myself with a new bike when I achieve 10 lbs lost, but to be thrifty, and to take advantage of this resource now, I’ll figure out how to get this one fixed.  (When you pump the tire, the inner tube expands unevenly to the point of pushing the tread away from the frame of the tire.)
3. Legs, feet, running shoes.  I can still walk or run anytime.  When my daughter starts soccer practice this season, it will be the perfect opportunity for me to take some nice runs around the fields.

I think that I can make it without the bootcamp, but I was somewhat committed to it because I paid for it, and I didn’t need to be the creative one when it came to mixing up the workout.  I’ll miss it, and I will miss my trainer, but it’s time for me take control of my workouts.

Week 3 will be the test…

Saturday Walk

I had the best time today trying to keep up with a very athletic girl on my morning walk.

Bella

I could have walked all day with her.  I am thinking that it might be time to get a doggy of my own.

Week 1: Excuses & Results

This first week was tough.

Excuses:          

• It was birthday week, and everyone gifted me with food and drink.  I tried my best to make the best possible food choices, but MAN was I weak!  I counteracted this by bringing my lunch to work almost everyday, eating more fruit, and drinking at least my weight in water.  Lunch rocked during Week 1!  Dinner rocked, too, but for more tasty, decadent reasons.
• I missed workouts during the second half of the week, due to my allergy issues.  It is not fun trying to run with one functional nostril and a congested chest in 90 degree temps at 6 in the morning.  That brings me to…
• What the hell is going on with Texas??  The high today is 110!!  The other night, it was still 100 degrees at 12 midnight?  This isn’t really an excuse for me not staying on task.  Let’s call it “mild whining.”  I think I might melt, though, for reals.

I worked out 3 times this week:

• (2) 45 minute bootcamps (cardio, free weights, plyometrics, tabata training, etc., all thanks to my trainer)
• (1) 45 minute walk on the treadmill for 2.63 miles

Results:  I lost 3 lbs!  I now weigh 166 lbs, and have 27 to go!

I usually work out 3 times a week (when I don’t skip bootcamp…heehee), so I really think that what affected the scale the most was the slight change to my diet—more fruits, veggies, eating at home, bringing my lunch to work, and much more water.  I am actually getting used to snacking, which is something that I have never done well.  In my previous life, (you know, a week ago), I would have black coffee for breakfast, a larger lunch, and not much for dinner.  This left me feeling tired, low on energy, and always hungry.  I already feel like I am gaining control here.  This gives me confidence, because I knew that the diet part would be the toughest for me to master.  I know that I still have some work to do here.

Oh, and I haven’t had any alcohol in a week, well except for one lite beer on a very, very hot day.  :)

This small weight loss gives me the confidence to continue to chip away at it this week.  I will get in more than 3 workouts.  The sinus infection/allergy episode seems to be subsiding, and I hear that the temps might be a little closer to normal this and the coming weeks.  As far as I know, there will be no further birthday celebrating, and I will be particularly careful about what I put in my mouth, since I pick up my whitening trays from the dentist this week.  That means that I can't have any of my beloved red wine or pasta sauce...or I shouldn't have any.

Week 2 is where I really get busy.  Look out.

Do the Hustle!

I need a workout that allows me to do this for an hour every morning before work.  I heard this on Pandora on my way to work, and got inspired!  Happy Pre-Friday!

The Last Supper



Going out with a Bang



Birthday dinner was inhaled at my favorite Italian restaurant.  C. was there, looking like he was a witness to a crime.  Actually he was, because I murdered that meal.

There was pasta, there were drinks, and there was bread.

Then, I had to get up at 5:10 am this morning to get to my bootcamp at 5:30. 

Do I have a harder time than ever waking up in the morning after having two drinks the night before because of my age, or is this, too, attached to my physical condition?  Whatever the case, the alarm clock sounding at 5:10 felt like a cruel joke at my expense, and it made me feel that maybe those bellinis the night before were a mistake.

Still, I rolled out of bed, threw on the workout clothes that I had laid out the night before, and got my tired mound of flesh to bootcamp.

I've been bootcamping now for 2 years, off and on.  I suppose that this is another relationship that I have enjoyed, but never really allowed myself to fully commit.  I love my trainer, and I love that she works us hard--a challenging mix of cardio, weights, and anything else she throws at us.  It is just another thing that has easily in the past been pushed aside to accommodate other, less important things.  I've been monetarily paying for this camp for the past 2 years, but I am just now physically paying for not giving it my all during that same period of time.

Today, I set my sights on the next birthday, and somehow it seemed very easy.

I always felt that I was going to camp to get fit.  What I learned today, though, is that maybe I would have been more committed to my fitness before, if I actually had a goal set as well as a target date to achieve that goal.  What I've been doing for the past two years at camp is basically hanging out with a group of chicks, working out, and going home and not thinking much of it past that--kind of like going to a bar with your girlfiends, only healthier.  Going there this morning, focused on what I want to do, and when I want to have it done made for a very inspired workout, and set the tone for the rest of the day.

Day one was a success.  I know that I was boosted by the excitement of starting this project, but it was encouraging to know that I could make it through a day when I felt that every decision that I made was a good one, I fit in my exercise as I promised myself, and it actually felt easy. 

How Did I Get Here?

I will lose 30 lbs by the time I turn 40.

That day arrives 365 days from today.

Every July, I schedule doctor and dental appointments to coincide with my birthday, July 26^th. The dental appointment was great—passed through there with flying colors, no cavities, no gum disease. I received so much fanfare from the dental assistant, I thought that she would take a picture of me holding my free toothbrush with a wide grin on my face, and hang it on the wall, the way that my kids’ pediatric dentist does when they have no cavities. No, all I got was a “Good job,” and “Let’s schedule you for a whitening appointment,” which I made sure to schedule for this week, after any birthday celebrations, so as not to stain my pearly whites with red wine and tomato sauce.

Well, my doctor’s appointment was going well until I stepped on the scale. 169. 169 lbs. I am 5’4”! 169. That is 18 lbs more than I weighed the previous year for my birthday appointment, and more than I weighed for either of my pregnancies. That is what was playing over and over again in my mind throughout my appointment. I didn’t care that my blood pressure was back to normal after being sent sky high by a stressful work situation. I didn’t care that everything else health-wise looked great. I didn’t even care that I was about to fill 2 gallons (in my mind) or 4 vials (in reality) full of my blood to complete my usual battery of tests. All I could think about was that I was fat.

Gosh, the weight gain was so extreme, that one of the tests is a check of my thyroid function.

Following the appointment, I decided to meet up with C., a.k.a. the main squeeze,  for some lunch. On the way to his house, I told him about how the appointment went, and I could sense some trepidation on his side as to how he was going to deal with the chubby basketcase that was about to show up on his doorstep.

Once I arrived to C’s house, I hopped out of my car, expecting a hug and a “Don’t worry, babe, you look fantastic,” but instead I got, “What’s up, Large Marge?!” He chose option A when he should have chosen anything B through E.

Needless to say, this was not C’s most brilliant moment, but he thought better of his words when we arrived to the restaurant, and I stood there teary-eyed, trying to order the lightest thing on the menu. He tried his best to order light food, too.

He was trying, I guess.

After dedicating two years of my life to off and on “stuff” with him, this was very much another straw that was taxing the back of the proverbial camel that was our relationship. My being stressed and teary-eyed was beginning to be a cornerstone of our liaison, and it left me feeling as if I wanted more for myself--not necessarily where he was concerned, but for my mental and physical well-being.

It has become painfully clear that I need to refocus and direct my energies towards those things that will make me healthy and happy.

So, here I am.
39 years old.
July 26, 2011
169 lbs…and losing…slowly, but surely, and losing in the right way...to get to...
139 lbs by July 26, 2012...

I’m losing this 30 lbs and regaining my swagger ('cause it got jacked!) by making myself a few promises, all things that I have promised myself before, but I habitually break:

• No less than 45 minutes of fitness, working out, movement every day. EVERY SINGLE DAY. This is MY time.
• Make better food choices.  Drink more water than wine.
• Seek support and be supportive, and be closest to those who are like-minded.
• Be more active with my sporty kids.
• Be selfish. Don’t let anything get in the way of my goal.
• Be honest and accountable about my progress or lack thereof.
• No excuses.
• Learn to like myself, or as my friend just said to me, “Give yourself a break, will you?”
• Have faith.
• Blog it!  This is the scariest thing of all.